no, he came in my armpit
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
