Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
