is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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