Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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