Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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