I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
kristin has been a bad kristin
It's Friday. Sex?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
