I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
