it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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