this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
