I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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