If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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