covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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