I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
