I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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