no you cant smoke seaweed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
