I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
this hospital has no fireball
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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