You're so nebulous sometimes
I bet he comes in French.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
