I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Drake has all the answers
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