I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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