you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
