In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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