she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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