my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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