It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
BRING THE BAGELS
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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