He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love you.
Bad choice
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
