Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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