1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
