i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
