Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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