I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
