Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
