Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
