My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
