Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
