I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
