So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
