apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
