You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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