I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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