Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's blow job season.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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