You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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