you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the day after is always just damage control
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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