There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
