when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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