Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
