if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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