Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
