i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
