as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
