Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
